What I Hate About Matt
by norsegodchick13
Summary: Mello didn't know why he loved this stupid gamer, but he did. And no matter how annoying he was, Mello was always gonna forgive him. No matter what. MattxMello.
1. Mafia? NO!

It was a rare occasion, but whenever it happened I hated it.

Yes.

Matt was actually _right_ about something. If he hadn't started playing that goddamn online game, maybe he would never have thought of it. Well, it could have been worse. I could've been wrong. For Near, that always happened, but with Matt, that rarely happened. I took a piece of chocolate.

"You're sure you're not in the mafia?"

"Wouldn't I know if I were in the mafia or not?"

"You could be lying."

I looked into his eyes. Thank god he was wearing goggles. "I'm not lying." I then glared at him, which was usually enough to make him shut up. Guess what? This time it wasn't. I bit into the chocolate, trying to look as menacing as possible. The cat, which Matt was _convinced _was some rare cheetah thing or whatever, crawled into my lap.

"Dude you totally look a mafia person!"

"Well don't judge a book by the motherfucking cover." I snapped.

"Geez."

There was a long silence, broken only by the sounds from Matt's game. It was hard to figure out why the hell I had fallen in love with this dumbass, but I did. And somehow, it seemed like he was the dominant one.

"So, are you in the maf-"

He finally shut up when I banged my head against the wall.

I.

Could.

Not.

Take.

It.

"If I say yes, will you leave me the fuck alone?"

"Yeah."

"Then yes." I paused. "Get me more chocolate."

"I'm the seme."

"Matt."

"Get your own damn chocolate!"

Well, shit. I was rubbing off on him. What next, was he gonna get a rosary and some leather? Although... He would look pretty hot in leather. Not hotter than _me, _of course, but still fairly hot.

"Do you wanna play the game with me?"

Another first. Maybe I could deal with the idiot, for now.

**Ahhh it sucks.**

**Please review.**


	2. Names, names, you can't pronounce

Maybe I thought it'd be romantic. I don't know, to show that I trusted him and all that shit. I made a line on the cheap napkin, took a deep breath, and handed it to Matt in one of the few moments when he wasn't engrossed in a video game.

"Matt, here." I was trying to keep myself from fainting. It wasn't as if I was proposing to him, all that was on the paper was my name. I guess it was the whole thought that counts thing, that I trust him with this information and all that. I was going crazy. And it was that bastard's fault.

"Mel-mel? What's this?" He asked. I shuddered - _god_ how I hated that nickname. Eh, it was a little cute. Some seme he was.

"It's- since we've been together for a while, and we only know each other by our aliases, I thought that we should learn each other's real names. Just... because."

"O-okay, um, Mi... Um... Thanks."

"Mi-HA-el Kayl." And he couldn't pronounce my name. Of course. I should have guessed. Being the romantic sap that I was, I thought this was actually gonna go well, and he could ACTUALLY SAY WHO I WAS WITHOUT SCREWING IT UP. I bet if I knew _his _name, I could pronounce it. I settled for a glare and a bite of sweet, delicious, for some odd reason blue, chocolate. Matt was my lover, but chocolate was my best fucking friend. If Matt screwed up, I could complain to the chocolate. And no, I am not insane. Even I need someone to talk to, and like hell I'm gonna tell Near or Roger about my problems. Major problems.

"Oh. I'm Mail Jeevas." We shook hands awkwardly - what was this, we had known each other for _ages!_

"So, what now?"

He leaned over and kissed me. Well. It's not as if the whole romantic name thing led to _just _a kiss, if you understand what I'm saying.

**Please review and give suggestions! Thanks!**_  
><em>


	3. Happy Halloween! But it's July

"Happy Halloween, Near."

What was making me celebrate Halloween with this brat? Well, I didn't know where the hell Matt was, which was both good and bad. I put on the hat. Near stared at me.

"The Mad Hatter? I can see that..." He mused. I didn't even care what he was implying. He wasn't even wearing a costume, so on that part I BEAT HIM. Yeah. Suck it, Near. "Where is Matt, anyway?"

"I don't know. Some video game convention, probably." And, for some reason, I was talking to Near. _Near._ My mortal fuckin' enemy. I don't accept these things, and I'm not gonna. I like being in denial. I don't have a dogganm problem.

"Really?"

"Well, he's Matt, and he's not here, so that's my best guess."

"Hmm."

Well, even though I was number goddamn two, I could figure out what he meant by that. He thought that Matt was cheating on me with some other guy. Despite the fact that I could - no _would_ kill all three of them if that were true. At least then I'd be number one for once in my life. But still. Carpe diem, if I'm even using that phrase correctly.

"Mello!"

See, see! Matt _wasn't _cheating on me! He lied about the video game convention for some reason, but he was not cheating. Yay.

"Hi Matt!" We kissed. Near looked slightly uncomfortable at this, so we kissed even more passionately. I rubbed my hands over his leather pants, which were surprisingly similar to a pair I had... wait. They were my pants. And my shirt, and my necklace, and my boots, and a blonde wig. I pulled off. "I'm your costume?"

"Yes." He smiled. Not a Mello-I-did-this-to-make-you-happy-are-you? smile, but a lolumad? smile.

"And you fit into my clothes?"

"Mm-hm." Matt took a game controller, and turned on the PS2 or whatever the hell it was. So, he could do this then? Take my clothes, and then nonchalantly play his video game? Well, shit. You don't troll in real life, Matt.

So, after Near left, I sat there for two hours watching Mello the second play video games for three hours. I eventually took a controller, and lost the game. That little bastard. I hated him. I don't like it when people take my clothes. Or beat me at anything.

**Ah, crappy ending.**

**Please review, and to those who review, I'm risking my life and giving you Mello's chocolate. And to those who read without reviewing, you're taking the blame for the chocolate, so you might wanna run.**

**Ciao!**


	4. All Your Base Are Belong To Us

"Matt, I'm out of chocolate. Go buy me some." I swallowed the last piece in the entire house.

"What's the magic word?" The magic word? Seriously?

"Or I'm going to hurt you."

"Nope."

What, he expected me to beg? He was the one that had to go, he had the car. I can't drive for shit, and I need my chocolate. "I just went to the store to get some cigs anyway, so you should've asked then."

"I will stab you in the face. Repeatedly." If I had chocolate, I would have the energy to do so.

"No."

"Fine. Please, Mattie?" I asked, trying to make a puppy face like Matt always did when he wanted something. Matt simply laughed.

"That's not it!"

"What the hell? I begged! Do you want me to get down on my fucking knees and fucking plead you, cause I won't! You're going to get me my chocolate!" I screamed at him.

"That's not it anyway."

"What the hell is it, then?"

"You'll just have to figure it out yourself. I'm gonna go play Zero Wing." Matt left our kitchen, and I stood there, pissed. I wasn't about to buy the chocolate _myself_, so I decided to go online and get answers. The idiots online all told me that the magic word was please, or that I should get off my ass and buy my own chocolate. Like hell I would.

"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!" Matt shouted. Wasn't that at the beginning of the game? Maybe it was taking forever to load.

"Magic word: All your base are belong to us." I smirked, triumphant.

"But I just found it, and it just loaded!"

"Too bad, now buy me some chocolate."

He groaned, and left. I won.

**I don't know what's happening next, so review and give me suggestions.**


	5. Cigarette is greater than Mello

**If you remember in the last chapter how Mello looked online for the magic word, I actually did ask that question on Yahoo Answers. Link here, but you'll have to copy and paste it into a new tab. W/out spaces.  
><strong>

http:/ / answers. yahoo .com/ question/index;_ylt=AgUo6P130nv1eFXaaD7lTznsy6IX;_ylv =3 ?qid=20110712081913AApZRTb

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><p>I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Matt was out, being away from his Mello, and I was out of chocolate. I considered calling him, asking him where the hell he was and to buy me chocolate. It was already 10.<p>

"Maaaaaattttttttt, where aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreeeee yooooooooooooouuuuu?" I groaned to... no one. I finally made up my mind to call the dumbass.

"Yo."

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Shopping." I could hear Matt's annoyance through the phone.

"Did you buy chocolate?"

"I was just coming home!" He groaned.

"So you're getting more, right?"

"Fine. But you owe me a DS game."

"Whatever."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Did all of our phone conversations go like that? Sometimes I felt like I treated him bad. Nah. We had deep spiritual and romantic talks too, it wasn't just for sex and chocolate. I chewed on some non-existent chocolate.

"I brought your _stupid _chocolate." I finally heard Matt's voice, and the crash of bags onto the ground. I walked over to him. God. Sometimes, he was just so arousing. Like now. He stormed into our living room, holding a bag. "Take it." He said. I wanted him to rape me, but first things first. I scarfed down a bar of chocolate. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Okay, now that we're done with that..." I muttered to myself, chucking the wrapper in the vague direction of the trash can. I walked over to Matt, and kissed him. He kissed back, and took off his shirt. I could feel myself hardening, and quickly threw off all of my clothes. We kissed again, rubbing against each other.

"I need a smoke."

What.

"M-Matt? What about sex?" I asked, completely shocked. So... he gave up _sex_ for a _cigarette._ If he really needed one, couldn't he smoke while he fucked me? Bastard dumbass idiot fucktard jerk! I was going to kill him. After he smoked his precious cigarette. Let me make an equation.

Mello is greater than cigarette

Apparently Matt fails at simple mathematics.

"Mello, I'm back." Matt returned a little while later. "So, where were we?"'

"Far away from here." I growled. I picked up my clothes and put them back on, glaring at Matt. "Good night." I slammed the door to the bedroom. Matt came back in.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked, sitting up.

"I'm going to bed."

"Sleep on the couch, asshole."

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><p><strong>Ah-ha... The almost-lemon sucks... Ah well. <strong>

**Review and give suggestions!  
><strong>


	6. The Case of the Lost Video Games

**Well, here's chapter 6... I still need ideas. Sorry for taking so long.  
><strong>

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><p>"Mello! Get up! We need to go!"<p>

"Matt, it's 4 am." I sat up anyway, knowing any attempts at getting him to leave me alone would be pointless.

"Yeah, but I can't find my video games!"

Strange. I hadn't even hid them. I got out of bed, changing into my usual leather. "Fine. Where to?"

"I don't know."

"Dumbass. Okay, let's think. Are all your games gone?" It sucked being the reasonable one. I took a bite of chocolate and laced up my boots.

"All the games. The consoles are still here." He lit a cigarette, frowning. "I think the consoles would go for more money, so it would make more sense for them to be stolen."

"Weird." Like I cared. He was forcing me out of bed at 4 am, and this was most likely going to end up a wild goose chase. "There's this mafia guy who doesn't like me. Maybe he stole them." Probably not, but it would keep Matt busy for a few hours so I could get some sleep.

"Well, let's go then!" He pulled my arm with him. Oh. He expected me to come with. Great. We drove a little bit out, and came to the guy's house.

"Here we are. Just go in and ask for your games. I'll wait in here."

Matt ran up to the house. "Hi, do you have my video games?"

Okay, this was actually sort of hilarious. The mafia guy didn't just dislike me, he hated me with a passion. And he knew I was gay, and dating Matt. I hid behind the door, watching.

"Did Mello send you?" The guy grunted.

"Yeah, he said you might have them." Matt smiled. "I want them back."

"What the hell would I take some games from you for?" The guy, who I just realized I don't know his name, slammed the door in Matt's face. He sulked back to the car.

"Let's go home." He sighed. The dumbass decided it would be a good idea to light a cigarette with the windows closed. I ignored the smoke for a while, then coughed exaggeratedly.

"Are you sick or something?" Matt asked, worried. Idiot...

"Open - the - damn - windows." I choked. He did as I told, and the smoke flowed out of the car. I breathed somewhat easier until we got home.

"Hey, I just remembered!" Matt shouted.

"What?"

"My video games are in the cupboard! I moved them last night! Ha ha..."

One look at my face and the stupid grin fell off his face.

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><p><strong>Review please! 3 Suggestions or requests welcome.<strong>


	7. Seductive Near OMGWTF!

**XXD.**

**Thanks to everyone who gave me ideas for your ideas. I need more. I have some of my own, though, and even more since I read the Los Angeles case book thing. I actually really wanted to read it cause it was narrated by Mello. Sigh...**

**Speaking of Mello, I cannot find any good inexpensive leather vests. Wtf is up with that? And hair dye, too, I have the perfect haircut but dark hair. And I'm not even gonna start on the shinypants.**

**At least I have the boots.**

**So, I think you're bored by my cosplay dilemmas, so here's chapter 7! I think!**

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><p>"Matt, I know you agree with me."<p>

Did I want to know what they were talking about?

Well, yes, yes I did.

But Near's voice sounded like he was trying to be seductive, and somewhat not failing, which was slightly scaring me. One, because Matt is my boyfriend. Two, because THIS IS NEAR WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, PEOPLE. My god. You've never had a true omgwtf moment until your albino lego-building better-than-you-at-everything-and-you-have-a-gun-and-for-some-reason-you-haven't-used-it-yet-but-you-really-should acquaintance is trying to seduce your boyfriend.

Besides, since when was he gay?

"I'm in the middle of a game."

Ha, Near. Ha, fucking, ha.

"Isn't there a pause feature on this game?" Near asked. His voice still had that odd quality. I pulled out my gun. You see, Matt was perfectly aware that he could pause his game. But he didn't. And he always paused his game for me. I leaned closer to the door so I could hear better.

"Yeah, but I wanna play the damn game. Go fuck your toys or something."

Okay, that was vaguely insulting. That was my diss, and Matt was stealing it. Whatever.

"Ma-a-att! You _know_ Mello's second to me in everything, and sex falls under everything, doesn't it?" Near whining? Damn. All I can say to that is-

Wait.

What was that about me being second?

I pulled out my gun and burst through the door. Near was trying to lean all over Matt, and fell. Matt kept playing his game, nonchalantly. I guess he was used to that by now, I tend to do that often.

"Hi Near!" I shouted, shooting in the general direction. I missed, and Near stared at me.

Dammit.

I shot again, but I couldn't shoot anymore do to the fact that I had no bullets.

"Yes!" Matt shouted, deep in video game land. He's invited me several times, although I prefer chocolate land. I mean, you can't exactly eat video games.

L and Naomi knew Capoeria. I didn't. Instead I kicked randomly at Near, and managed to hit him somewhere in the chest-neck-shoulder area. He glared at me and left.

"So... Matt." I got closer to him. He paused his game.

Who's second?

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><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews, guys!<strong>

**You know, the ones you're gonna write after you finish reading.**

**I have some ideas, but suggestions/requests are welcome.**

**See you next week! Review!**


	8. Anaconda Memories Part 1

**Nope, I'm not from the U.K. :(**

**I may be able to find something, although I don't want to pay for a fifty dollar vest in quarters. That would suck.**

**So, here's the next chapter! Make sure you review!**

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><p>It was raining out. Matt was away, and would be for about four days. I was all alone, and on this particular cold, rainy night, our heater had broken. Normally in this kind of situation I would just cling onto Matt for warmth or make him fix it. Matt was gone. I don't know how to fix heaters.<p>

I walked through our home, looking for my snuggie. They actually do make black leather snuggies - or, they did for me. You know, special exceptions for mafia leaders and all. Finally I found it, in a cardboard box labeled "Stuff to get rid of".

"What?" I muttered, putting it on. Sure, I hadn't worn it for a while, but that may have been because we (thought) we had gotten our heater fixed, and it was only September. I decided to look through the box, to see if there was anything else I wanted to keep.

The first thing I pulled out was a Magic Eight Ball. We didn't really have a use for that, so I placed it to the left of the box. I went through the box, placing what I wanted to keep on the right and what could go on the left. Eventually there were only a few things left in the box. A dishtowel, a hairbrush, and a gun.

A Colt Anaconda, to be exact.

Even more exact?

My first ever gun.

I took it out of the box, looking at it. It brought back a lot of memories from Wammy's House, all the way when I was eight. Young, innocent, not obsessed with beating Near yet, Beyond wasn't killing people, and the Death Note hadn't been dropped to Earth. God, it was slightly depressing.

I lay on the couch in my snuggie, looking at the gun. I had found it when I was eight, a week before I met Matt.

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><p>The classroom had 21 desks total. I had the gun, and a bag of chocolate, hidden inside my desk, as both weren't allowed during class. I was in the corner of the rectangle, and Near was opposite me. There was a radius of two people around me, and a radius of one person around Near. I was apparently "scary" and "antisocial". Damn idiots chose to sat away from me, I didn't tell them to or anything.<p>

"This is Matt. He just got here, so be sure to give him a warm welcome!" Somebody said. I looked up. A boy who looked about a year younger than me walked over. He had short red hair, and green eyes. He took the desk directly next to me, and a murmur went through the room.

"Hi, I'm Matt." He held out his hand. "Who are you?"

"..."

It wasn't that I didn't like him. I was just a little weirded out that he was sitting there. There were other open seats.

"Why are you sitting here?" I asked. I guess eight-year-old me was somewhat scary. I had just started wearing all black, and my hair was the same. Although I didn't wear leather. I've seen eight-year-olds in my kind of black leather, and it's really fucking weird.

"You looked lonely." This... Matt person said. "So I decided to sit here. What's your name?"

"I'm Mello." I looked at his hand, which was still held out. I shook it.

Eventually I found out that we would be sharing a room. Apparently some people were thrilled that I had a friend. I didn't have a friend, though, the dumbass was just following me around. Eventually he'd make friends with other people and I could be alone again. That was what I thought I wanted, I guess.

"I've brought everything here!" Matt said proudly, sitting in the middle of my room. My room. Which was full of goddamn video games.

"What in the world?" I shouted. "What-"

"It's all my games." He got onto one of the beds. I admit to being vaguely impulsive when I was eight. I grabbed the anaconda and shot at the n64. It was only the second or third time I had actually shot anything, so my aim wasn't the best. I managed to screw up some of the plastic and hit a controller.

"You - you jerk!" Matt shouted. He ran out of the room. Good riddance, or so I thought. He never returned to the room, and since we had to be in our rooms by 9, I decided to find out where he was. I ended up looking all over the building with no luck. The grounds weren't actually that big, and I could navigate them okay. To somebody new, though, there was a slight possibility of getting lost. I ran outside, making sure not to get caught.

"Matt?" I called. "Matt?" There was no response. I had searched the entire property, and didn't find a trace of him. So, he must have left. Leaving the property was number 5 on the list of things I avoided like the plague. But, I felt as if I had to find Matt. I crossed the road, and ran down the sidewalk. It was pretty cold out.

After what seemed like hours but was probably only about 30 minutes later, I finally found him. He had a Game Boy with him. Of course.

"Matt?" I walked over. He glanced at me.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"I'm... I'm-" I sat down next to him. "I-I noticed that you hadn't come back, and I-I... got worried." I explained.

"I'm fine." He said, in an angry voice.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?" Matt asked, looking at his game.

"Yes. I... I want to be your friend. There's nobody here that I like at all."

"So, you're lonely." He didn't move his head from the game.

"Yeah. C-can we go back?"

"Sure."

We walked back to Wammy's House, where the math teacher chewed us out for hours because we were out late. Normally this thing would bother me, but I was perfectly fine.

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><p><em>Crash!<em>

I sat up, pointing my gun at the door. I pulled the trigger in my nervousness, and shot a hole through the door. Damn. I was gonna need to get that fixed. Especially since that was the front door, and rain was starting to blow in. I put the gun on the table and went to sleep.

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><p><strong>Review!<strong>

**XXD**

**This is part one of a series in this series. **

**...**

**o.o**

**Well, this'll be interesting. Reviews accepted. Actually, review, or you are an asshole. Kay?**


	9. Anaconda Memories Part 2

**Part two!**

**w00t!**

**Review please, after you're done reading this chapter of amazingness.**

**Thanks guys!**

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><p>I walked into my house from a long day at "work", took off my shoes, and stepped into a giant puddle. Oh yeah, I hadn't mopped it up yet. It was going to rain again tonight, anyway, so it didn't matter. The Anaconda was still on the table, covered in cum.<p>

What?

I get lonely.

And bored, which was exactly how I was feeling now. I picked up the phone, debating who to call. I had just called Matt five minutes ago, so that wouldn't work.

I dialed the SPK's number.

"What is it, Mello?" Near answered. "We're busy with finding Kira, and we both know that-"

"I'm bored and lonely."

"..."

"I'm not gonna rape you, I'm just bored and lonely. God."

"Where's Matt?"

"Vacation or something. What's your favourite colour?"

"Fuschia."

"Uh?"

"Fuschia. That's my favourite colour."

"It's not white?"

"No."

"Really?"

"No."

_Bang! _I picked up the Anaconda and shot the phone.

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><p><em>At the SPK Headquarters...<em>

_Bang!_

_Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.  
><em>

"Mello? Mello? Hello?" Near looked at the phone. "Mello?"

"Jell-o?" One of the SPK members added, laughing at the rhyme.

"Do you think something happened?" Halle asked.

"Knowing Mello, he probably shot the phone." Near sighed, and hung up.

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><p>I had washed the cum off the gun, and didn't know what I was gonna do with it. I could have another flashback.<p>

Yeah.

That would work.

I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

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><p>"Mello? Mello!"<p>

Oh my god. Matt, you idiot. I was twelve at the time, sitting outside with the gun. Matt, was of course looking for me, and clutching some game. I knew he was going to overreact somehow, possibly by-

"Oh my god! Mello!" He ran over, grabbing the gun. He shot several times into the distance, until he was sure there were no bullets left.

"What- what the hell?" I asked, looking at him.

"You _can't_ kill yourself!" He yelled.

"I wasn't going to!"

"...really?" He handed the gun back to me. "You weren't? Oh, that's good..." He laughed nervously. "Well, there are no bullets left... so..." He laughed nervously. Moron...

"No, and I think you hit Sally's cat." I pointed at a dead thing lying on the ground, with blood all around it. "Dumbass." I put my face in my hands, Matt could be so stupid sometimes...

"We'll bury it in the woods." He whispered, leaving and returning five minutes later with two shovels. We walked to the woods with Mr. Muffin's dead body. It had scratched me a little while back anyway, so it sorta had this coming. "So, Mello, we're all alone."

"...what."

"You know, we never get to spend any time alone at Wammy's House, and so..."

"What are you trying to say?" I dropped the shovel, sitting against a tree. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"I like you."

"Yeah, we're friends now, aren't we?"

"No, not as a friend."

"Is that an insult?"

I always thought Matt was the oblivious one. Guess I've been wrong all this time.

"As... as more than a friend."

"What?"

I turned around to stare at him. "So... you're..."

"Please don't kill me!"

I looked around. It _was _the perfect place to kill somebody, I could bash his head in with a shovel, bury the body, and get off scot-free. But... did I like him back? I blushed.

"I... won't. You're... gay then?"

"I-I guess..." He looked down. "You know, we should just forget this ever happened." He began to dig again, digging furiously and getting dirt everywhere. Like, my eye.

"Ow, dumbass." I wiped it out.

"Sorry."

We dug in silence.

"So, it's very warm out today!"

"Matt, it's like 40 degrees. I'm freezing my ass off."

"I feel warm."

"That's nice."

"You're pretty."

"You're not talking about how every idiot thinks I'm a girl, _are you_?"

"No, like, if you were gay, I would-"

"Didn't we already go over this?"

"Right. Sorry."

"But, you know..." I looked at the hole, which still wasn't big enough, then up at Matt. "If I were gay, I would be your boyfriend and stuff. But - I'm not gay. At all. So, sorry." Oh god oh god oh god, why did I feel like this?

"You never know until you try." Matt muttered.

_What?_

"Try what?"

"Being gay."

"I'm not having sex with you! We aren't even old enough!"

"I didn't mean have sex with me." He picked up the cat and unceremoniously dropped it into the hole.

"Then... what?" I think I was blushing. I turned away and started burying it.

"A... a kiss?"

I dropped the shovel. "I-"

I didn't get to finish my very clever thought, as Matt pressed his lips against mine.

Oh.

My.

God.

Suddenly, Matt realized I was alone with a guy who kissed me and a shovel. His eyes sort of widened and he started backing away.

"I'm not going to kill you." And I kissed him, and we fell onto the ground. "But you're my boyfriend now, so you'll have to take responsibility."

I punched him in the chest, because that's what boyfriends do.

"Wanna go out tonight?" He asked.

"Hell yeah." I finished the cat, and dropped the shovels. We walked back to the house, holding hands. Matt wouldn't stop smiling, not even after I hit him.

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><p>We got back okay. That is, until we ran into Sally.<p>

"Have you seen Mr. Muffins?" She asked, looking extremely nervous and angry.

Matt nudged me. Of course. I was in enough trouble without the death of Sally's beloved cat.

"No. Why, is it missing?" I lied.

"Yeah, he's missing! You killed Mr. Muffins!"

Technically it wasn't true. Of course, Matt wouldn't own up, and it was my gun. It was time for some charm. "Matt, talk to the girl about this." I hissed.

"We didn't kill him, Sally."

"Mr. Muffins is a girl!" She paused, then her face turned... evil. "Alright. I don't have proof, but I know that _you _killed her, _Mihael._ And I'm going to avenge her death. Maybe not for a century, or a decade, but I'll get my revenge. You want to watch out. For the rest. Of. Your. Life."

And with that, she left us staring at her.

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><p>Thunder. Lightning.<p>

I sat up, looking around. Only a few days until Matt returned. I walked over to the kitchen to get some chocolate, and tripped over my Snuggie. Damn it, not again. Oh well.

Matt, I love you.

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><p><strong>Sorry! I'm not able to update that often D:<strong>

**And now for review and threat!**

**Review, or I sic the mafia on your ass! (thank you mello, for that advice on getting people to do stuff for me. Natalie River, Death Note Auntie Agony, actually pretty good fic.)**

**Stay tuned for next time, how Matt and Mello came out of the closet to everyone at Wammy's, and some others!**


	10. Anaconda Memories Finale

Matt called earlier today. He said he would be home tonight.

Finally.

I don't act like it, I suppose I try not to show emotions, or whatever, but I really do love Matt. Even when he's being an idiot. I don't even try to deny I'm dating him, or whatever. And most people tend to guess I'm gay without me informing them, so no point in trying to deny _that._

It came as a shock to everyone at Wammy's House, though.

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><p>Matt, in openness, or whatever the hell it is, was the opposite of me. Whereas I wanted people to know that we were together and all, he was against telling people. No amount of telling him not to be such a pussy could change his mind. Anyway, today was my turn to convince him I was right.<p>

"They're going to find out sometime, and if we let them find out themselves it's going to be worse. Matt, don't make me hurt you."

"You would never hurt me."

Dammit, he was right. But... but I could still bluff.

"How do you know that?"

Matt closed his game and smirked. "You're more in love with me then I'm in love with you, so if you hurt me I could leave you. It would be hard, but it would be a better choice than to stay. Besides, you'd never be able to forgive yourself."

Oh god. That almost made me cry, realizing that he _could_ leave me far easier than I could leave him. But I'm _Mello_, and Mello doesn't cry, so I decided to stare out a window. "You wouldn't leave me." I bluffed.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked.

Oh yeah.

Some point in us becoming friends, he had figured out how to tell when I was sad, or whatever. That really pissed me off, you know?

"Yeah, I'm fine." Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate.

"I guess you're right, though." He sounded vaguely sheepish. I turned around wondering where Roger hid my chocolate this time. "We'll start telling people."

"Awesome!" I jumped off the windowsill, leaped up, and glomped him. I spun around, probably kicking some poor kid passing through the hallway in the head. Did I mention the hallway was full? No? Damn, I really should've. However, nobody noticed. That... that wasn't good. "We can let people figure it out now, if you want." I muttered.

"Sure."

Surprisingly, he knew exactly what I meant. He shoved his tongue inside my mouth. I sucked on his-

I'm sorry

I don't do kissing scenes.

So, there we were, making out in the hallway. People _had _to notice this, right? Right.

Of course, people included Roger.

He wasn't even nearby until some douchebag decided that they needed to inform Roger. That douchebag. Once I found out who it was, they would be in pain. A lot of pain.

Roger grabbed my arm, told Matt to follow, and stormed over to his office. While in his office, I found some of my chocolate underneath a potted plant, and bit into it. Roger was too pissed off about the making-out thing. Which is weird, because he never got pissed with anyone else who-

Yup.

He personally hated me.

Or gay people.

Or both.

He yelled at us, something about the word "the". Or something, I was too busy trying to pull off erotic eating. For some reason, it felt like that skill might come in handy some time.

"...so Matt will be in the same room as Near."

Wait...

"Um, what was that?" I asked.

"You heard exactly what I said. Homosexuality in this..."

He went on again, then we left.

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><p>After a week of misery, we heard that Wammy would be coming. We decided we could mention what happened to him, and he would make Roger have us room together. Ah, our young brains didn't realize that this was a stupid idea, that Wammy wouldn't care - or that's what Matt said, anyway.<p>

So, we-

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><p>"Mello?"<p>

I jolted out of my flashback, and fell onto the floor. I got up and ran over to Matt. "Hey, I missed you!" We hugged briefly, then he came inside. He stepped in the puddle on the floor.

"What the-"

"Oh, sorry about that, I sorta..." I pointed at the door. Matt sighed, putting his face in his hand. "I can fix it."

"It's not that."

It wasn't?

"I mean, that pisses me off, but it's not why I'm pissed."

Oh. So he thought that _I _did something? Who paid for the house? Who got us to America? Who-

"I was talking to somebody at the convention, and-"

"Wait. You're going to say that you-"

"They're my cousin."

"Oh."

"That's the problem."

"That they're your cousin?" What - he would _not _leave _me_ for his cousin. Me. Mello. Mafia chocoholic genius.

"No. It's not incest. Just let me say all that I have to say."

"Well I can say-"

Matt hit me.

Matt _hit _me.

"What the hell? How-"

"That's my problem! You think that you're entitled or whatever- that you can walk all over me, and I always forgive you for it and never care at all!"

"I do a _ton _of stuff for you-"

"Shut up! You and your fucking _mafia _- we have to hide from the police all the time, we can't _do _anything together anymore, and you say it's my fault! It's always my fault. Yeah, you do a lot. I do too. And you don't even _mention _it, you're always saying that you're right, I'm stupid, it's my fault, if I hadn't done that then it wouldn't have gone the way it went, but you're wrong this time! _You're _the one who's stupid, it's _your _fault, and if you didn't fuck up, you weren't so obsessed with beating Near, you didn't decide you had to be all independent and leave Wammy's - if you ever acknowledged that I had feelings too- I didn't even _want _to do this, I just thought you might appreciate me for once if I helped you, but obviously not! I-I can't take this anymore. I'm not taking anymore shit from you, _Mihael_, and I'm leaving."

Matt stormed into the hall, into our room. I didn't even bother to get up off the floor and try to get him not to leave. I was too shocked. I-I did appreciate him. I...

He was right.

A few moments later, he was carrying a few bags out.

"W-where are you going to stay?" I asked.

"Why do _you_ care?" He snapped, lugging out a fourth bag.

"Matt, I'm sorry, I never thought that-"

"You never think of others, that's what." He took his fifth and final bag, then started carrying them out to the car. I offered to help, but he just glared at me. I sat there, numb, as he started the car and drove off.

I sat against the door and cried.

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><p><strong>Please review or you're a douchebag, yadda yadda.<strong>


	11. Mello the Stalker

"Hey Matt, are you awake yet?"

Oh. Right. Matt left, yesterday. I sighed, got out of bed, and walked down to the kitchen. I took out a bar of chocolate, biting into it.

Yummy.

Fuck it. It wasn't as good without Matt making some dry remark about how it was unhealthy. I dropped it onto the counter, and decided to get dressed. Today, I would go out and look for Matt. Work could survive without me for a day. I started to tame my hair, and smelled cigarette smoke. "Go outside, goddammit."

Oh yeah, Matt was still gone. It didn't explain why I smelled his cigarettes, though - he would try to burn down my house, I knew that, and he definitely hadn't returned. God, was I seriously hallucinating? No, no, it doesn't count if it's just a smell. I wasn't going crazy.

When I had finally gotten my hair to resemble something vaguely neat (it's never been the same since the explosion), I went outside, and stared around the neighbourhood. There were the Masons - to call them unsupportive of homosexuality would be to make the largest understatement ever. The Gonzalezes - in their basement lived Matt's number one video game supplier. If worst came to worst I could wait there for him. And everyone else, who I never really cared about, but Matt definitely knew and was important to.

Speaking of which...

"M-Mello, hi!"

It was... I... I didn't know. I mean, I _knew _him, but I didn't know who the hell he was. Obviously he was scared of me, though, which was beginning to get annoying. I didn't even enjoy intimidation anymore, how sad is that?

"Hey, um..."

"I'm Harvey Mick. Matt loaned me a game a few days ago, and I wanted to return it."

"He did?" I was about to burst into tears now. No... no... I'd get the game, and use it as an excuse to see Matt one... last time.

"Yeah, could you get this back to him?" He handed me a cd case.

"If-If I can find him, I'll g-give it..." At least I was able to keep from sobbing outright.

"Thanks." Harvey left. Well. He didn't even bother to try to comfort me. Polite.

* * *

><p>So there I was. It had finally stopped raining, which would've provided a much more melancholic setting for my woes, but it was pretty damn cold out, which was bad enough. I didn't even know where the hell Matt would be, anyway. I tried calling him, but I kept getting the answering machine. I left him a message, mentioning only the game. My throat was starting to hurt from crying - was that even possible? I walked into the first building I crashed into the doors of - Petco.<p>

Now I had a few options. Option one: rob the place at gunpoint. Option two: Sit in an aisle and cry until somebody notices. Option three: buy something.

Option three was stupid. Why would I _buy _anything at a _store_? Out of the question.

Option two - not that bad. Maybe somebody would know Matt, and I could find out where he was.

Option one... back in the old days, before the mafia, when it was just me and Matt, screwing around, finally free from Wammy's House, I would have immediately done this. Yes, even at Petco. Matt and I would take turns being backup for each other, and we would -

God, it was too painful. I leaned against some Iams dog food and started to cry.

If you were in a store buying shit for your dog, would you comfort the scary-looking leather-wearing half-of-his-face-burned-off freak crying their eyes out and blocking you from Spot's food?

Apparently, yes.

"Hey - move it."

"I'm trying to buy that."

"Get the hell outta my way, bitch!"

"Go cry to your boyfriend."

"Ma'am, you're causing a disturbance."

I looked up at one of the employees. "I-I-I'm not a woman."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Sorry, but you're still causing a disturbance. I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store. Our customers are-"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

That may have been one of the stupidest things I've ever done in my life. Still, I have the talent for making stupid things somehow work out. I held the gun against his forehead, glaring at him. He didn't do or say anything, just sort of stood there with a terrified look on his face. I sighed, dropping the gun and walking out.

My watch ticked past 8:23, meaning it had been 24 hours. I wasn't doing that bad, was I? No, no, of course not. I walked a few miles down the road, not even bothering to remember that I was lost, when I came to the car.

A camaro.

Matt's camaro.

It was in the middle of a Costco parking lot, filled with video games, blankets, food, and cigarettes. Matt's ultimate survival kit. He wasn't actually in the car though, he was probably... somewhere else. I remembered the Costco and began looking for the actual person.

It was getting pretty late, I wasn't sure where I was, exactly, so I decided to go into a random bar.

"Matt, you can't be _going!_"

Holy shit. Holyshitholyshitholyshit.

No, Matt was a common name, it couldn't be -

"What the hell are you doing here?" He snapped, glaring at me.

"I'm so sorry... please..."

"You're _following _me?" He tried to push through to the door. I ran after him, shouting at him to wait. I couldn't take this anymore. Obviously, I would have to. Also obvious was the fact that I was part of some huge joke, somebody was trying to make me break.

Near.

It made sense. He was working with some shadowy government organization. He had amazing technology and crap. Obviously he was doing this to... I didn't know, exactly, but it was something bad. Well, I couldn't have Near winning. I wiped the tears off my face, deciding I'd prove to him that he couldn't push me around like this.

"I know you're watching us! Whichever one of Near's agents you are, sh-"

Matt clamped his hands over my mouth. "It has nothing to do with Near! You don't _get _it! Just..." He took his hands off my mouth and ran off. People were starting to stare. Godammit, the game!

"Matt! Matt, wait! Wait!" It was useless. Oh well, I knew where he was staying. I could sit outside the car until he woke up. i walked back to the Costco, and leaned against the bumper. My stomach started growling, when I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. It wasn't going to be as good, but...

I had to get over this.

Matt wouldn't come back.

I just had to give him the game, and find someone else.

Easy enough. I broke into the empty building, looking for... aha. A crate of chocolate. I took it, then ran back out to the car. I took out a piece, and began to unwrap a piece. It made that crinkling sound.

"Mello..."

I stopped breathing, and chewing. Finally, I heard Matt's soft snores again, so he fell asleep. I continued eating.

God, I hated this.

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><p><strong>Mello fails at break-ups. XD<strong>

**Seriously, it's sorta creepy.**

**Anyway, review or you're a shithead. Did I already use this?**


	12. Acceptance

I finished the crate of chocolate around the time Matt woke up. He got out of the car, then looked at me. "You can't be serious..."

"I forgot to give you something last night."

"I don't want it."

"You don't even know what it is!" I used one hand to hold onto his forearm, and pulled out the game. "Here. You lent it to Harvey."

"Thanks." He grabbed it and stalked off, not even bothering to light his cigarette. Well, geez. A while ago, he wouldn't have minded if I was there... was he that pissed at me? There had to be something that I could do. Something that could help me get over him, or even better, get him back.

As if that was likely.

I sighed and walked away. Nothing was appealing anymore. Not even chocolate- okay, except for chocolate. But the things I normally enjoyed, like shooting things and birdwatching and my motorcycle and- just everything. Matt wasn't there with me. I couldn't get over him, but I couldn't get him back. There was nothing I could do.

I pulled myself together and tried to stop crying. I needed to look tough. Scratch that, I didn't look exactly tough, but intimidating. I pulled out my gun. This was a mission of peace, I didn't need my gun. If I could apologize, and get Matt to stop hating me, that would be good enough. I could find somebody else. Even with that scar, I was pretty damn attractive, and most people noticed that. I knew that I couldn't get over Matt, and that I wanted him back, but it was a complete impossibility. Friendship would be good enough. Good enough. I kept repeating that phrase in my mind, trying to find out what the hell I could do to get somebody who I... well, okay, he was completely right. I had used him. I had been a complete asshole. Maybe I could try and repay him.

The plan formulated in my mind, but it wasn't really a plan.

I smiled and walked down the road. If I came now, it wouldn't work. I would have to wait for him to cool down, and be less angry. My normal approaches definitely wouldn't work here. I went home.

* * *

><p>The house was completely empty and silent. The noise that came from opening the door wasn't even there. Altogether, it was a little creepy. I had guns, though, so I wasn't afraid of anything.<p>

Wait a minute.

I remembered that I was a wanted target. It could be the police, or a Kira, or... I sighed. It was nothing. If somebody had screwed with my door and searched my house, they would be gone by now. I made a bowl of cereal and turned on some show about cats.

* * *

><p>"He's home." JJ whispered, hearing the sounds from the TV.<p>

"Shit. Okay, do you have the stuff?" Kai asked.

"Yeah, we got it." Percy muttered, holding up a bag.

"We'll snap a picture of him and give it to Kira, too. He'll probably give us a ton of money." Rachel grinned. "Or kill us."

"We can say we saw him out." Jesse, the leader, looked around. "We can escape out the window. Come on." She began to climb up. "Shit, shit, shit, he's coming!" She jumped down, and hid in the shed. Kai followed, leaving Percy, JJ, and Rachel.

"Hello? What the hell are you doing in my house?"

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><p>It was just a few burglars. I had heard five voices, but there were only three people. What the hell kind of burglars came into a house in fives? If they were that stupid, I could take them. I didn't even need my gun. I swung out at the girl, who dodged and pulled out a knife. Maybe they weren't as helpless. I'd have to get them out of the house, though. I fought better in wide open spaces, and maybe somebody would see the fight and call the police.<p>

"We don't want to kill you." The tall one, with long black hair said.

"I want to kill you, though." I grinned. This would be fun.

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><p><strong>Really sorry for not updating in forever!<strong>

I've been super busy. I promise I'll try to update every week from now on. And review, or Mello dies. Seriously. Because if nobody reviews, there's no point in continuing, but I wouldn't want to leave you with a cliffhanger. :P


	13. The Final Battle

I immediately kicked at the girl.

"Rachel!" The long black hair guy shouted. He glared at me, and punched me in the face. I flinched, then dropped down and grabbed his legs. He fell too. I grabbed a bedside table and dropped it on him, hearing a crack. He shouted.

"You bastard." The blonde guy came at me with his knife. He cut open the side of my face that wasn't all scarred up.

He.

Was.

Dead.

I grabbed the knife out of his hand and went for his throat. I only grazed it, but I tried again. He fell to the ground, dead or passed out for no real reason. The girl, Rachel, jumped out the window and began to run away. I followed her, chasing her for what felt like miles. When she thought she had dropped me, she went behind a building and found the other two voices I had heard.

"Kai, Jesse, he killed J.J. and Percy." She whispered. "And he's going to kill us."

"Damn straight!" I walked in front of their "hiding spot". Kai immediately shielded Rachel, and Jesse smirked.

"Not if I kill you first." She pulled out a revolver, and shot at me. She missed by a lot. I waited until she had missed enough times to be safe, then went at her with the knife. I slashed open her throat, and she fell. Next, Kai came up. He was equally easy to kill.

Now for Rachel.

I tried to stab her, but I missed, She slashed at my arm. Dammit, she was good. I tried again, but missed again. She drove her knife up through my thigh, then slashed at my stomach. Yeah, she was going to kill me. She raised the knife, and...

BANG!

She looked up in surprise, then fell to the ground, dead, with a bullet in her neck. Matt walked through the alley. "So you've taken to being Batman, then?" He asked.

"M-Matt. You- I am so sorry..." I limped over to him.

"Yeah, figured you'd be. This kind of reconciliation seems to work in the Pokemon slash fics, so why not here?" He grinned. "I'm still pissed, though, so you're going to have to be pretty damn sorry. I'll help with those wounds, though."

"I love you Mail, really."

"Yeah, I know."

He walked me to his car, and we drove home.

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><p>"Dammit Mello, stop moving!" Matt muttered. It turned out I'd need stitches, thanks to Rachel. Stitches on my ass. And since I couldn't exactly go to a hospital, I'd have to trust Matt payed attention in first aid class.<p>

"It hurts!"

"Didn't I give you a painkiller?"

"Not a good one!" I shouted, trying to get off the table. He held me down.

"I'm almost done!" He shouted. He got the last stitch in. "There. Okay. You're good."

I sat up, pulling up my pants. "If you tell anyone about this, you're dead."

"I haven't missed you."

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><p><strong>Yay happy ending.<strong>

**This isn't the end, though. I wanna continue this XXD**

**Review please, and give some suggestions about what could happen in the future!**


	14. Author's Note

**AN: This story is on hiatus for a while!**

**I think this is an okay ending point for a little bit, but I do want to continue it. I'll probably start writing again in a few months.**


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